Soul Snack: It Makes me Wonder

Can I be *real* with you for a minute? Sometimes it makes me wonder why God called me to be a stay at home momma! Listen to this day…

Click here to read more on this Snack…I wake up to Andon in a foul monster mood with a load in his diaper! Ah, yes it's just going to be a glorious day. Then, I try to tidy up the house for the umpteenth millionth time. I am just so invigorated. Oh, did I mention I haven't had coffee yet?

Then, Caleb had a doctor's visit today and he knows he's getting some shots. Freak out in 3-2-WAH!!! He instantly breaks down just at the thought of the needle. Lord, help me now! Then, as we get in the waiting room that is a million degrees, which is saying a lot because I am always cold, Andon continues his beast-like agenda. He sits in front of the door, screams, looks out the window and screams. Oh, and the doctor is an HOUR behind schedule. Beautiful! Andon continues to scream. Oh, did I mention I haven't had coffee yet?

But, here's where all the wondering erases away. I had time to just sit and look at Caleb's face. He looks so much like me, and my dad too actually. I examined his lips, how he has one of mine (his bottom lip) and one of his dads (his top lip). How he has the most beautiful eyes. We actually discussed them in the room – he wanted to know what color they were. I love his chin, it has a dimple just like my dad's and mine. I just kept looking at him and he shyly told me to stop. I knew he loved it.

And, then it hit me – THIS is why God called me. I am with my kids all day everyday and will not see the reward until they are productive members of society, but I am present with them. I have so much work to do in this area – being present, truly present and enjoying the screaming, smiling and stinky little men He called me to raise. I love them with every inch of who I am!

I am so imperfect in my own rights and will never earn a “Mother of the Year” award. But, in God's eyes, I probably have several waiting for me when I hit those pearly gates. I just wonder if it will feel “normal” to me, or will there be clutter with all things sports and forts – you know, to me it wouldn't be Heaven without them!

And, I still haven't had my coffee yet!

by Savings Lifestyle: Andrea on January 22, 2009


  • cornhusker - January 22, 2009 @ 9:04 pm

    Thanks for the great post. I have days where I’m tired of my 1 year old clinging to me or I wonder why I chose to home school. But then they smile at you or give you a hug and I know I’d rather be no where else than here with them. Especially because time flies and they’ll be gone before I know it!


  • Anonymous - January 22, 2009 @ 10:42 pm

    I also took my son to the dr for shots. Did okay withthe first 3, but #4 was brutal. So then he is in a bad mood all day because of the shots. When he gets home from preschool, he wants to go outside for a little bit. I let him. He wants to ride his bike he got last week for his birthday. I told him to get his helmet on. We put it on and I go inside to get his brother. I hear screamming. I run outside, he had flipped his bike and his head is bleeding. Helmet is all scraped up. I call the dr and now I have to watch him close to make sure he doesn’t have anything major wrong. Oh what a day. I feel your pain.
    Katie Ruschman

  • Andrea - January 23, 2009 @ 1:07 am

    I just lost my job (although I worked out of the house), but becoming a “full-time, completely devoted, no time for myself” Mom has been a real challenge and I find myself saying the same thing. Man…I am exhausted at the end of the day…far more than when I worked….maybe because I was able to sit and mindlessly type for 5-8 hours a day..not so easy now. I have one 17..graduating this year…one 8 who is homeschooled and one 5 month old..who is quite a handful…I feel for ya…and I definitely feel for ya when you don’t get your coffee in…that seems to happen a lot to me too.


  • Andrea @ Mommy - January 23, 2009 @ 1:49 am

    @cornhusker – those smiles are what I live for. And, I guess I’ll take the screaming as long as I can see them!

    @Katie – I hope your lil’ guy is doing OK! Wow, shots and then a bike accident. That is no fun!!!

    @Andrea – I am sorry for your job loss. I felt the exact same way when I started staying home with my kids. It is exhausting for sure – especially when I don’t get that coffee!!

  • walker777 - January 23, 2009 @ 2:10 am

    Wow! What a time for this. I just dragged myself off the couch to tuck my kids in bed. I went upstairs thinking maybe this is one thing they will remember about mom is how I always tucked them in at night. Your stories brought tears to my eyes. I needed this.

    Thank you!

  • Marcy - January 23, 2009 @ 2:29 am

    Great post, Andrea! I thought I was destined to be a career woman but god had other plans for me as well. I have questioned it at times too, but when I start he usually finds a way to show me that I am where he wants me to be for now. I also need to work on being more present and am not in line for mother of the year either (who is?). Love that you posted this as I’m sure many can relate! :-)

  • Kama @ Today's Housewife - January 23, 2009 @ 2:51 am

    I agree, great post! I love being a SAHM, but my little guy is just 4 months old, so I haven’t gotten to experience all the “fun” yet. :)

  • Anonymous - January 23, 2009 @ 3:11 am

    Just wanted to say thanks for the honesty! Some days I too am just exhausted and long for a day off. I get frustrated with the endlessness of the job of being a stay at home. But I feel like admitting that somehow makes me less of a mom or sounds like I love my son less. Not true. Being a stay at home mom is HARD work. Glad to hear that other moms go through the same frustrations and stress. Thanks for being honest!!

  • Anonymous - January 23, 2009 @ 3:17 am

    Hey it’s Junebaby. Thanks for the wonderful/honest post. It feels like a captive shot of my life right now. Being a mom is the hardest yet most rewarding job I have ever had and I don’t even like coffee. LOL

  • Marianne Thomas - January 23, 2009 @ 3:32 am

    Girl, if you have another day like that one girl, just call me. I’ll break open the piggy bank and get you a Starbucks.


  • shevigirl - January 23, 2009 @ 4:31 am

    A big heartfelt “thanks” goes to you tonight! It sometimes takes me reading something like this to remember the reason I chose to stop working to stay home with my 3 (although there was only 1 when I stopped). Seeing life through their eyes reminds me that there is a God and He is filling my life with beauty and wonder every day! Thanks Andrea!

  • How do you solve a problem like Malia? - January 23, 2009 @ 5:17 pm


    I found your site through Carrie’s at MSM. I really like your site, and this post in particular was very sweet. Keep up the good work. Our little ones are just like long term investments; eventually when they’re out of diapers, snotty noses and attitudes you can sit back enjoy all the hard work you put into them. Way to go momma!


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